Thursday, January 11, 2007
Weather, Diet, and David Beckham
My office is at the top of a hill, and is pretty windy on the best of days. Today it’s like something out of the Book of Revelations outside and it’s sounded like we’re being harangued by an incessant puffing monster. There’s also a gap somewhere meaning that the wind screams into the room like a million lobsters being boiled at once. It’s very disturbing. And the enormous (and, I imagine, very heavy metal flagpole outside the window is swaying more violently by the minute...
The headline of The Metro today says that January looks set to be the warmest January since the first recorded temperatures of 1659 (by which I assume they mean in the mid 17th century and not at one minute to five). Whoever gave them that statistic has clearly not walked through Oldham any time recently, where it is colder than ever.
Today then, other than the wind, I have been concentrating on:
1) The diet – which I think may be getting easier. Apparently my stomach shrinks after a few days, making it less gaping than before, and thus less likely to bully me for food. The challenge of the weekend, when I am more likely to be out of the house and near to restaurants and takeaways, remains to be overcome though. Today's intake of toast (2 slices) and grapes (10) for breakfast, followed by my fruit mixture for lunch, hasn't left me barely conscious and delerious as in previous days.
2) David Beckham, who has signed for LA Galaxy on a deal worth £500,000 a week, which is a ludicrous amount of money, but sounds even more ridiculous in American, where it is of course $1m a week. Bear in mind that the average working person earning £25k pa won’t earn Beckham’s monthly salary in TWO working lifetimes. And also, whereas I will take 25 years to pay for my flat (which is why it is on the market!), Beckham could afford it at about quarter past four in the afternoon on the second day of his contract.
But is he happy?
Assuming then that I don’t get blown into the sky on the way home from work, I am digging out the old football from the loft later – it seems there’s money to be made if it turns out I’m any good…
I must disagree on a couple of things.
First, I really must stick up for Prestwich, which is a wonderful area and not a hell-hole at all! I have never been to Lebanon, but if you are inferring that Prestwich is like the war-torn and destroyed vision of Beirut we get on the news, then I have to say you couldn't be more wrong. Even on a horrible day like yesterday!
And also, I may be chastised for saying it, but I have an issue with disrespecting elected leaders. People may not like Mr Blair or President Bush, but millions voted for President Bush, and we've elected Mr Blair's government three times in a row. Call them twerps if you like, but I think there's a correlation between people's lack of interest in politics, and the fact that even educated people refer to political leaders with a stunning lack of respect.
I try and keep the opposition-bashing to a minimum on here. Everyone's trying to do their best, and nobody's bad on purpose I'm sure. We may disagree with leaders sometimes, but let's keep the tone high. Otherwise nobody would have respect for anybody.
But I know you were only being light-hearted, so I will let you off!